Move On

I think I have mentioned before how when my mum passed, I had time off work.  Yet there came a time I did not want it.  I did not want to be by myself at home.  I wanted to be surrounded b people and doing something.
It hit me this morning that there comes a time to move on.  It seems to me life can be full of regrets and memories.  If I let myself, I can get stuck there.  My motivation is my past rather than my future.
For sure the past can be full of good memories and a great place to visit.  But I do not want to live there.  My story does not end with the ending of another story.  My story still has chapters to be written.  They will remain unwritten if I let that happen.  As with so much - my choice.
And I think decent people want me to go on.  And with people that were seen to be primarily selfish it does me no good to think about what could have been or how they missed out on my retaliation.
The past is the past.  It may be easier to say then to do but it is true nevertheless that growth depends on additional food.  If I remain where I am and reject a future for myself, I will wither and die.  All life depends on food.  I know I love fresh bread.  But I know the bread from a month ago was fresh once, but it is fresh no longer.  I need something new.
In a sense it matters not what others say or think.  At times others are helpful and at times they are not.  But the choice to move on always remains mine.  Many people are well meaning for sure, but it is a widely held belief that a person cannot be helped unless they are willing to acknowledge the need for help.
Thankfully at that point I have found there are many willing to rush in and assist.  Maybe what is done is the same as before.  The difference to me though is I am ready to receive it, apply it, and move on.