Miscarriage

The Duchess of Sussex (Meghan Markle) has written in the New York Times about a miscarriage she had in July this year.  As usual there is both support and questions, but no one is denying the horror of the experience, or the loneliness it brings.
In Australia there are more than 10,000 cases per year.  To me the word “cases” cloaks the story.  No doubt the one who experiences it is affected the worst, but 10,000 is probably more than 50,000 people directly affected.
On tv they were interviewing a lady who was writing a book on the subject who had experienced her own.  She told of someone who was losing their baby being put in the same room in a hospital as someone who was going to have their baby.  Not a good look, but too common apparently.  One of my favourite songwriters is Phil Keaggy.  His wife experienced multiple miscarriages.
I think it is great she is willing to talk about it.  The lady writing the book said that it is good to talk when a person is ready to talk.  Not before.  Laura Whitmore said, “It took me a year to talk about my miscarriage.”  The author highlighted that Meghan had the miscarriage in July and was ok to talk about it now in November.
No doubt some of my illustrations are crass, but it reminded me of people coming back from injury too soon.  I have seen that a number of times.  They do what they are told and decide they can ignore the timeline they were given.  They come back and are injured worse and have to spend longer out of the activity they love.
As a guy I do not know that I will ever truly understand, but that will never stop me from empathizing.  Maybe I’m not the best one to get alongside a person, but I know I will care.  In this case, “please God I am not as good as it gets.”
The lady writing the book mentioned a word that sent me scurrying.  “Commonality.”  She referred to “commonality of experience.”  To me that is important to state.  A person does not need to be a royal or famous to attract sympathy.  It may be someone reading who has experienced it, or the person next door, or down the road.  If Australia experiences 10,000 cases a year, there is a good chance someone we are talking to has experienced it.
As in all things it seems those who are best equipped to truly understand, are those that have been through it.  That does not mean that others do not care.  What it does mean though, is the person who is most likely to offer the best help, is one who has been there, gotten through it, and is willing to talk about it.
Bad things happen to good and bad people alike.  No one is immune to life.  To me it is responses that tell the story.