Mentoring

“No man is an island.”  It amazes me how gender specific our language can be.  Fortunately it is neither here nor there to most but I do think about it.  Does the saying above mean that no man is an island but some women are?  Sorry ladies but no.  To me a proper way of saying it would be “no person is an island.”
It seems that many times it has to do with when something was written or said.  When that saying became popular it was the accepted way to say man representing humankind.  Same I think with “man the desk.”  Really it is “person the desk” as the one at the desk really could be male or female.  The same for saying any “Tom, Dick or Harry.”  Why are they all guys?  I’m a guy, and as there are three one gender will be in the majority, but surely any “Tom, Dorothy or Harry” is just as legitimate.
In each of those cases though, it seems to be more about the thought being conveyed then the gender of the people.
I was talking on the phone to a friend of mine.  I asked how they were.  They said good thanks and went on.  I knew they were battling health issues so later I said you said before you were good.  They said, “I said that because most people really do not want to know.”
That seems to be true, and in most cases it is proper I couch what I say in such a way as to allow continued free conversation.  I know I do a double take when someone starts unloading on me unexpectedly.
I don’t reckon it true in all cases though.  The last thing I really want to convey to anyone is that I am always self-sufficient, and all is always right with the world.  I don’t reckon it is right to indiscriminately blab, but I also do not think it is right to never blab.  To me that is unhealthy.
It is probably best I do not appear to be a blubbering mess.  That does not inspire confidence.  By the same token it is best I share things with someone as I go along.  Plugged volcano’s explode and that generally cause a mess.  Being honest can cause issues, but pretending causes more issues and maybe explosions later.  That can be very messy.
What I have trouble with is pretending all is well when it is not.  I think I am big on it as I have probably done it in the past.  I need someone to talk to.  To unload the difficulties I might be having.  More often than not that is a relief to another.  The last thing I need, is to imagine all is well with everyone else, and I am the only one with difficulties.
Everyone has difficulties and needs help at some time.  It is probably why the concept of mentoring is popular.  I need someone I can lay things open with.  That is not just anyone.  I really do not want to open up to someone who just thinks “buddy, you think you’ve got problems.”  I also do not want to be someone others think they could never relate to as I always convey the image of never experiencing difficulties.
It seems we all face difficulties, but no difficulty is too difficult.  Many times it is just a case of a burden shared is a burden halved.  I may or may not want answers, but I always want to know someone cares and is listening.