Manic

Hmmmm.  It was totally legitimate.  It was Merril’s turn to pick a word.  She closed her eyes and turned the book this way and that.  I watched the whole thing.  Her finger fell on the word “manic.”
Immediately I thought of the saying, “your crisis is not my crisis.” So often something gets left to the last minute, and an urgent need is discovered.  It may seem harsh. and it is hard to explain, but for many years I have determined that I will not embrace panic.  I will help but not panic.
My thinking is if it is not something that just has to be, I will attempt to help and let it play out.  To me, that may help to avoid a “next time.”
My thinking is very much do to others as I would be done by.  I know I would appreciate help if needed, but I would be more thankful for not having someone else solve my crisis when it need not have been a crisis at all.
I must have learned it somewhere along the line.  To me it is like opening an egg thinking I was doing the animal inside a favour when I was not.  Those animals gain strength in the struggle. True strength is always gained in adversity.    It would have been like a “never again if I can help it” moment.
To me it is just not worth it.  Those that know me know I prepare for stuff ahead of time.  I do not know what the future holds so if I am ready now, I will be ready.  Except for surprises.  Surprises I cannot control.  The word surprise gives it away - unexpected.
It is interesting to me when I look at the word manic in the dictionary it says, “relating to a mental disorder.”  Another dictionary says, “showing wild, apparently deranged, excitement and energy.”
I have seen both types of manic.  Someone I know is manic/depressive.  When they are up, they are up, and when they are down, they are down.    One time they bought a car, and they could not drive and had no licence.
I consider a lot of road rage as manic behaviour.  It is understandable getting angry.  It is not understandable taking a hammer to a windscreen.  To me that is lack of self-control.  It is anger out of control.  Whether intentional or otherwise, stuff happens.
So much manic seems to be learned behaviour.  It never starts big, but it can end big.  No building suddenly is finished.  It always takes shape.  I reckon my behaviours take shape too.  At first the consequences can seem inconsequential. Then they end up having huge consequences for myself and others.
Diminished responsibility should not be an excuse for learned behaviour that has been allowed to grow without check.  I totally appreciate I may end up the one on trial but for “joe average me” I really feel I will not get away with much.  Besides today justice is often built on bank balance rather than truth.
I have never met anyone who considered manic behaviour as a good thing.  Manic to me points to a lack of self-control or being unhinged.  Yet everyone controls their responses.  My experience is the more it is unchecked, the harder it gets.  Good one to nip in the bud I reckon.
All sorts of reasons may be given for manic behaviour, and they may have played a part in certain behaviour growth, but dulled or sharpened, control is mine or as Star Trek says “you have the com.”