Love and Grief

What I am thinking on at the moment covers something I have been thinking about while listening to a book as we travelled around.  It is a quote from Nick Cave the musician. “Grief is the terrible reminder of the depths of our love and… is non-negotiable.”
The book we have been listening to is by a guy who has an autistic daughter.  He describes the absolute sense of helplessness he sometimes felt with her in public situations.  He was asking why?
He loves her dearly and for 25 years had wanted the best for her. - has wanted to see her functioning like other kids.  He has had little wins like the computer program that gave his daughter a voice.  Yet that had been incredibly hard fought for and had come years into his journey.
I can wonder the same thing.  Why the stroke?  Would not have I been better off without it?  My outlook is one that can see these things turned around, but it is the meantime I deal with right now.
I see others battling conditions that provoke not only empathy but questions.  Why the gulf between what I believe and what is current?
I definitely feel more comfortable with what I have been hearing.  I feel my belief system is now deeper and more accepting of the current situation.
My reasoning has to do with what is happening in me.  So often I can look for the big, dramatic solution to a problem.  Yet it is the day-to-day little things that bring about the changes in me I look for.
So often I have heard people say that if something had not happened to them that is deemed to have a negative impact, they would not be the better person they are now.  In no way does this imply bad things need to happen to people, but it does imply that often seemingly bad things produce a good outcome for an open person.
In the person writing the books case, he saw the good in his learned response.  It was his response that was a marvel and inspiration to others.
In my case there has been a heap of good things that have resulted from the stroke.  I totally believe for one thing I am more empathetic to those struggling with issues of their own.  My heart goes out to those who, for whatever reason, have difficulties that are not necessarily understandable or relatable to by some.  I have particular difficulty with those who imply there is a need to just “snap out of it,” or don’t look beyond what is being faced as, “all your fault.”
What does this have to do with love and grief?  To me, heaps.  I love and sometimes things don’t turn out as I think they should.  This causes grief.  I may not understand but I want to be a better person through whatever I, or someone else, goes through.