Looking Out For Me

It occurred to me this morning that what can seem like an act of selfishness can be an act of selflessness.
I was considering how I really need to look out for me.  I have been in the position, and I have seen so many others doing so much for others and not having anything left over for themselves.  Like a flame that burns brightly for a while and disappears having no fuel to keep it going.
It looks good.  For a time others marvel.  So much is done in such a short time.  The world is a better place as a result.  Yet it is unsustainable.  Especially as more and more is added and demands become greater.  At the time there is a “she’ll be right” attitude.  While it is true that if you want a job done give it to a busy person, the priority will only ever be holding ground rather than taking ground, if they do not see to their own needs.
For me it is like a balance sheet.  When there are continuously more outgoings than incomings bankruptcy is inevitable.  For a while, others are attracted and impressed.  Years ago I knew someone who came into several hundred dollars.  They took a pile of people to a meal.  To me sometimes it is the right time for that.  But not when they said to me later somewhat morosely, “its all gone.” 
What they had was wasted.  The intension was good.  The outcome for many was good.  But the timing was not.  Others were made happy, but they were left spent.
I know I can be frustrating.  I am slow to say yes.  I try to look out for me.  They reckon we would worry less what others thought of us if we realized how little they actually think of us.  There is no doubt they will help us use our resources, but the motive can be only self-interest, and when what I have runs out, they move on.
When what I have is all I have with no guarantee of more, it does not end well for me.  I reckon that is not good.  I want what I do that assists to be like a continuous stream rather than an intermittent one.  What I have to give to others may be less than it might have been but it is continuous when it needs to be.
When I say yes I have generally weighed something up and decided it is the right thing for me to do.  What I give does not leave me destitute as I ensure there is something coming in that continually tops up. 
Ok that is looking out for me but how can I be any good to anyone if I am not good to me.  A train engine will only pull carriages when it has the strength to do so.  Train engines are not good for one go and then unused.  They have a continuous flow and topping up of the power needed to do the job again and again.  I only have the strength I need when there is a continuous flow and topping up.
My seeming act of selfishness is an act of selflessness, as it is guaranteed to prolong my use.