Like I Will Live

I heard a story about a guy that was involved in a major incident.  In the hospital he was conscious while being wheeled to the operating table.  Before he could operate the doctor knew there was something to ask.  As they hurried along he asked “is there anything you are allergic to?”  The guy said “yes.”  They stopped.  The doctor and his assistants gathered around as the doctor asked “what?”  “Death” was the reply.  The guy to be operated on said “I want you to operate on me like I am going to live.”
To me, that is a great attitude.  Naturally at times a great attitude is not enough.  But too often I can be like, “woe is me.”  “Why has this happened?”  “I must be the unluckiest guy in the world.”
The thing is, it happened.  I have found that expectation is often like a self-fulfilling prophecy.  If I expect the worst, it often happens.  The best I can do is not to wish that something never occurred (though that is natural) but make the most of the current situation.
If I do not, there is a good chance I am hastening my demise.  I reckon my job is to not make things harder than they already are, but to make them easier.  That can take time.  It can take working it through.  “Why” is probably the most often asked and potent question I can ask.  To me it needs to be followed by “how?”
How I answer is a biggy (yes I do talk to myself all the time.  Not verbally, but in my head.  At least I know I can get a word in edgeways).  It determines my future direction.  Will I fade away or fight?  Fighting is so much easier said than done.  But in the end, I have a choice.
For me it is too easy to follow the easiest route.  Sure can be less trouble.  But trouble could be my middle name though it is not.  Some challenges are little and easily solved.  Some are big and require time and effort at the very least.  Others demand real emotional involvement.  They make me bitter or better and the difference between the words is “I”.  Just because it is a cliché does not make it not true.
My response is what really matters to me.  There is much I can’t control.  Like the weather.  I might like to be outside working in the yard right now.   That is a big might.  Still, everything is a choice.  It is what I cannot control that really proves to me who I am.
Like in everything I need help.  But operate on me like I am going to live.