Letting Go 2

Letting go can seem like abandoning.  The only abandoning is the attempt to control.
There are times control is needed and I need to be another’s hand and feet but so often it is not the time.  I am a great adherer to seeing the fruit or outcome of a matter.  Outcomes I see show me the way endemic to people just does not work.  I have dished it out, and had it dished out to me.  I know it just got my back up.  The reaction of others suggests the same.
It seems to me there is a lot of truth in the saying “if you love someone let the go.  If they come back, they are yours, and if not, it was never meant to be.”  I can really want something but if it is not meant to be, I am trying to grasp the wind.
There is a song that Switchfoot sing that is one of the favourites of Merril and I.  With a casual listen it could easily be misinterpreted.  It needs context and ears to hear what is really being conveyed.  “Do you love me enough to let me go.”
Merril and I are meant to be together, but it involves daily letting go.  Merril needs to be free to be her, and I need to be free to be me.  So often people enter a relationship with a view to changing someone.  It just does not work.   To be effective change must be born of one who wants to change.  My trying to change another or them trying to change me can appear to be only nagging.  It seems to me many relationships end because one party or both is unwilling to see past faults.  Yet the attraction in the first place was not to faults but to strengths.  Somewhere along the line they are replaced.
Faults is like a dirty word.  The truth is though, I have them and so does everyone I know.  Allowing them to be front and centre though is to me a recipe for disaster.  If on the other hand I concentrate on the good, then that tends to crowd out anything else.  When the best is believed of me, I tend to concentrate on being my best.
Letting go seems to be the greatest evidence of trust.  It is acknowledging that this situation is beyond me, and I hand it to someone who it is not beyond.  But I really reckon I need to let go of matters that are not beyond me.  I will always do what I know to do.  If it does not work out as I planned, trust says that is ok – not my problem; I have let it go.