Integrity

This sleeping thing can be full of surprises.  What does surprise me is the hour I get up.  Merril could not sleep last night and got up.  At 4.30 she went back to bed and her words to me?  “Your late”. I could not deny it as it was true.  I usually get up at 4.  I have trouble believing that.
It happens but what did surprise me was the word I had in my head.  “Integrity.”  That is not a word I hear a lot of these days in general conversation.  It has almost become like a word reserved for “special” people.  Yet it is my conviction that it is a word that applies to everyone.
There was a time when, “their word is their bond.”  A time when a handshake sealed the deal. I do hold to the need to put agreements in writing.  For me, it makes clear what is being agreed to and is something that can be referred to should things go wrong.
It is almost old fashioned and cute that for some a handshake alone seals the deal.  Their word is their bond.
I must admit I am less inclined to rush in and say something these days.  I reckon it is significant we have one mouth but two ears.  I feel I need to spend twice as long listening as I do talking.  For sure I will make a decision when I need to, and live with the consequences, but I am less inclined to commit until I have had a chance to weigh up the facts and hear as many stories for others as I can.
When I looked up the dictionary definition of integrity, there were two streams mentioned.  The first was “the quality of being honest.”  That sent me back to a game of footy mates were playing.  For some reason someone called out, “honesty is the best policy.”  Another spectator called out, “honesty is not the best policy, it is the only policy.” 
That was decades ago but his words still ring in my ears.  I totally agree that is the way it should be, but unfortunately that is not the way it is.  What matters to me is I remain true to my convictions.  My honesty can be used and taken advantage of.  When that happens, I am not inclined to meet like with like.  I can come out seemingly the worse for the experience, but I have remained true to myself.  For me it is a long-term gain, and the pain, though it may seem long, is short lived.
The other meaning of integrity was “the state of being whole and undivided.”  That to me is similar to the one above with a different emphasis.  Structures have integrity.  They are fit for purpose.  I have seen pictures of bridges that looked the goods, but some circumstances show they are not the goods.
Bit like me really.  I try to live it and mostly it is good.  But there are times I am exposed as not fit for purpose.  That to me is not a reason to give up but to try again.
I heard someone recently say they base what they hold to on where they perceive something leads.  Sort of ties in with what I hold to in knowing something by the fruit it produces.  It seems to me integrity leads to a better place than the alternative.