Inevitable

It is with a heavy heart I write this.  Today has been quiet a day.
This morning I phoned a friend of mine.  I knew he had cancer and when we spoke last he was getting the results of tests the next day.  He said he would ring but never did.  I thought that was not a good sign.  I told him if I did not hear from him, I would be ringing.
I did today.  His cancer is inoperable.  All treatment has been stopped.  He tells me he is skin and bones.   In himself he seems good.  It is like he has past the anger and questioning stage and now accepts.  When I spoke to him last, he had questions which was not like him.
Then this arvo we got word of another who is close to us, who may not last long.
I have a belief system based on hope, but it does not make me immune to sadness.  Having reached this age I suppose what I am seeing is inevitable, but inevitability does not make it easier.  A number of people I know have gone in recent times.  I am sure it is worse for them, but I certainly get no joy out of it. 
I hear of things and so often they are statistics.  I find it too easy to forget that every statistic is a person.  Often they are surrounded by those who love and cherish them.  A lot of people have an incredible story to tell, but everyone dies alone.
Merril was in nursing and looked after a lady no one would have given a second thought to.  She had been a journalist and was given a gift from Gandhi.  No one would have known.  The one I rang today was close to royalty and had to escape his country as they were intent on doing him in.  The other was highly regarded in his workplace and is very much loved.
I am not one to fob things off or depend on platitudes.  Life can be hard.  It seems I have a choice.  I can worry or trust, and I chose the latter.  That is what undergirds me.  On the surface are all these emotions that are not unique to me, but part of the human condition.
I guess it is almost a selfish desire, but I want all my friends and acquaintances to be around me always.  It is very easy to say, but those who know me know it is true when I say I want the best for everyone.  People can be terrible, but it is probably true of everyone.  I am not one to say, “I hope they get what they deserve.”  I do think it is true though that we all get what we deserve.
They say two things are inevitable, “death and taxes.”  It seems taxes are talked about all the time, but the other is like hush hush.  Maybe it is time it was not hush hush.  After all it is inevitable.