I Don't Have To

​I Don’t Have To
I was having a real winge about something I wanted to do one day that I really did not want to do.  But something occurred to me that has only taken 63 years to occur to me.  “I don’t have to.”  It is my choice.  That was liberating to know but it still produced a dilemma.
I am a big choices man.  I can do what I like.  For sure there are constraints and there are dire consequences for some things, but as they say, “the world is my oyster.”  Though why oyster, is anyone’s guess.  Some people don’t even like oysters.
I can take any road I choose.  Ok now that I am older, I am likely to spend less time on that road, but the options are still there.  What it comes down to for me is “what do I want?”
I can take a road maybe less travelled.  By taking that road the only arriving I have done is to arrive at the road.  Things may look rosey, but roses have thorns.  I would prefer things to look Camillay.  No thorns.  On this road there are trees down and major potholes to avoid, but I really like the scenery.  I would prefer the road was smooth and wide, but it is not.  It has been narrow, and some of the places it has gone through have been scary.
A neighbour I had used to lay bitumen roads.  He was telling me about the different thicknesses of bitumen they use.  Major highways are thick.  Byways can be thin.  Nothing is like the Romans would build though, that last millennia.  But even the best highway is not immune to some things nature throws at it.  A road may be good, but a landslide will still bury it, an earthquake destroy it and a flood submerge it.
I find there are interesting stops along the way.  I am big on rest and recuperation.   When I do not rest, things are way more likely to take a turn for the worse.  It can be spectacular for all the wrong reasons.  I undertook a long drive one time.  I knew it was rest time when the road assumed the shape of a sailing boat.  I pulled over at a service station and slept in the car. All times matter and serve a purpose.  If I fail to rest, at best I miss out, and at worst I spin out.
I find it incredible the influence four words can have.  “You don’t have to.”  That choices thing applies to everything.  Even the most obvious choice is still a choice.  “Feed the baby or it will die.”  So the baby is fed.  Seems obvious, but it is still a choice. (thanks mum).  There is no law or ancient wisdom that states “no-one is to have a choice.  They are all to be robotic.”
All my choices have consequences.  Anything I have done is not because I have to, but because I have chosen to.