Hurt

How does the song go?  “Learning to love again.”  That is one thing, but I have been thinking about learning to trust again.  That to me can be really hard.
I know when I have been let down and when someone has done the unexpected and left me high and dry in my vulnerability, it is really hard to get past.  I know I need to be wise but not a wisdom that soils and mars (that mar is the same as the planet mars.  I had to look up how to spell that one)
Unfortunately it seems to too often be a wisdom that is learned the hard way.  Someone or myself may do something right 999 times and wrong once but so often it is the once I have trouble getting past, and the one I remember most clearly.
With help I may forgive but I will always be informed by the behaviour.  Although I will forgive as many times as I need to, I may change how I respond to the person and keep my eyes open for signs of such behaviour in another.  To me that is smart.  It is foolishness to fall for the same thing time and again.
I think there is only ever one way to respond to behaviour that asks for forgiveness and that that is to forgive.  It is the theme I keep coming back to.  Love.  I feel like this subject is a smorgasbord of delicacies.
As is so often the case I come back to how I would like to be treated.  I reckon it is a bit rich to ask for and receive forgiveness of one, and not to do the same myself for another. 
I reckon I am to forgive and move on.  That can be so not easy.  Hurt is a disappointment that can run very deep.  To me it is something that can be buried and thought to be gotten over until a situation arises that causes the hurt response to arise again too.  It may be the last thing I want, but it is my “go to” response.
As always I have a choice at that point.  I can respond in the familiar way and hurt others scatter gun like or I can go to the only one who can assist me.
I have done that more often of late.  Sometimes answers are not instantaneous, but I know I am heading in the right direction.  They say Rome was not built in a day.  It is true of getting past hurt, but responding the proper way means right structures are being built.
Maybe this is a cliché zone, but I really feel responding to hurt the wrong way makes me bitter, while responding the right way makes me better.  Bitterness is not a place I want to be. 
As always, my choice.