Honest with Myself

Honest with Myself
Maybe those going for Miss World were onto something.  When asked what they wanted invariably they said, “World Peace.”  I reckon if a referendum were held today the majority of people would vote for that.  I reckon I would be pretty safe to in saying the same would be true if the question concerned everyone having enough to eat or adequate housing.  The question for me is who is willing to do something about it?  Some things are easy to say, but harder to do.
I reckon being honest with myself is hard to do too.  I will never share willy nilly about something.  But when an opportunity arises for me to share about something significant in my life I clam up.
It seems to me to be a short coming of the “are you ok?” movement.  It is a good first step but the person being asked needs to be willing to be honest.  So often I ask “are you ok?” and the respondent says “no one ever listens anyway.”  Whenever I hear that answer I say “I’m listening.”  That totally throws em, and people do not share anyway.
So often I say “I’m fine,” but I’m not (boy fine that is.  When a girl says fine, I know I am in trouble.  Fine is like code for “end of argument and anything you say now is the start of a new argument.”)
But it seems to me so often saying “I’m ok” is nothing but a “I don’t want to talk about it.”  That is fine (boy fine) as I may not be the one to share with.  But someone needs to be if I am not ok really.
I had an infection, and it was spreading.  I ended up in hospital and a biopsy was taken.  The doctor identified the problem and told me what I needed to fix it.  I honestly reckon I would have died if the problem had not been dealt with.
It seems to me often people’s “I’m ok” is like covering a wound without dealing with the cause of it.  That never solves the problem and it always grows and spreads.  Often the way I talk and what I do is as a result of an unresolved issue that can be really long standing.  The longer I leave dealing with it the more it spreads.  I may not die of it, but I will die with it unless it is dealt with.
To me it is not safe to assume everyone but me has it all together.  So much is a cover up.  I can never deal with anything until I am willing to be honest with myself.