Holding On

To me there is a difference between holding on to something and something informing my behaviour.
I laugh and maybe I should not but on the news was a story of a guy holidaying in Noosa.  He walked down a path to get to the beach and there was a snake and it bit him.  He went to hospital and got the anti-venom needed.  Not long after he walked down the same path and there was the same snake.  This time it did not bite him as it never got the chance.  His first experience informed his behaviour. Wise move I reckon.
If he had held on to that experience it may have ended badly.  Bitterness and resentment could have caused him to do something rash.
I have had heaps of times, where decisions were made based on behaviour being informed.  Sometimes it was just taking advice that only became obviously good advice later on. (A child may not understand why touching a hot plate on a stove is good advice.  Yet later on it is discovered that not touching a hot plate is a good idea.)
Yet holding onto something often becomes a source of bitterness, resentment or jealousy or many other potentially destructive motives.  I read about a mild-mannered guy in the states that everyone thought was a good guy because he was mild-mannered and polite.  They did not know that he had been holding onto something.  Something that twisted him up inside and caused his actions to have devastating effects.  He took a gun to work and shot up his workmates.
I reckon the advice to not let the sun go down on my wrath is good advice.  Resentment so easily festers.  It grows.  Often it is watered by dwelling on it.  What was small becomes big and before long others are suffering needlessly.  Just because I have a problem.  Better to deal with it the same day and have the new day a new day.
That works in reverse too.  I do not know how long I have held to the thought that many little things make a big thing.  But I do think that.  It is no wonder they talk about “little acts of kindness and of love.”  To me, if anything is to be held onto it is that.  It grows too.  It is watered by thoughts that are that way inclined.  The outcome is good for everyone.
I will never pretend that some love is easy.  It is easy to love those that love me.  It is much harder to love those who are out to get me or do me harm.  I will always acknowledge I need help.  Like everyone I have blind spots.  Better to deal with something in the right way that day and move on.  Holding on to somethings does me and everyone else no good.