Having it Together

Often we see people and greet them and they seem to have it all together.
It is just as well we put on our best face in general.  The last thing any of us like is to ask “how are you?” and have someone unload their woes on us.
It does seem though, that when we get to know folk, most people have something that makes them less than perfect.  For me, it is about being able to trust someone enough to share.  A definition I really like is “a friend is someone who, when you make a mistake, doesn’t think you’ve done a permanent job.” Friends seem to take to us, both because of, and despite who we are.
We all face troubles, but what I really admire is mankind’s ability to bounce back.  When the towers came down, one of the first priorities was to clear the rubble.  When Brisbane flooded, an army of volunteers arrived to assist with the clean-up.  When my place flooded, a mate came to help out where he could.  Not much evidence of war remains in Europe.  It seems that for any disaster that befalls us, there is a clean-up and a reset.
Personal problems can be harder to deal with.  Some things are life threatening.  Some folk wallow.  Others move on.  What is the saying? “Two men looked through prison bars, one saw mud, the other stars.” Mostly we do not know what a person is dealing with.  It is only in getting to know them, and scratching the surface, that we find out.
For me, it is all about maintaining a person’s dignity. No matter what I am told, I attempt to treat a person with respect.  It is what I desire for myself, and what others have a right to expect from me.  If the person is after an answer and I feel I have it, I am ready to give it.  If I don’t, then I am willing to say so.  The Australian Teacher of the Year, Eddie Woo, says he only has one rule for his classroom.  He treats everyone as a human being and asks only that he is treated the same.
Often people are only after a listening, understanding ear.  When I provide that, I don’t necessarily solve the problem, but I mostly make a person feel better.