Hair

I am a totally cool guy.  Not a hair is out of place.  Where that place is for some, is anyone’s guess.  I don’t have a lot of hair but what there is, has a mind of its own.  Someone was surprised I was not a teacher at the uni.  I probably looked like a mad professor.  I think it is because my hair is like a spring.  It sorta grows out in circles.
Mostly I do not need to think about combing before I go out.  My hair just sits.  I part it in the middle.  It is like, a really big part.
When I say “no hair” that is not quite true.  There are some follicles still holding out and holding on.  I admire them so much.  Against all the odds they are hanging on.  I thought of the savings I make having less hair, but it is a two-edged sword.  I save on shampoo, but I spend more on sunscreen.
Merril lets me know when my hair becomes unruly.  I am pretty well blissfully unaware.  I used to go to the barbers to get my hair cut.  Not any more though.  We have electric cutters that save us a heap.  Merril cuts my hair.  She is getting better and better.  There is only the occasional blood.
Still I am really tough.  I only wince so we both know bones are not supposed to be exposed.  I resist making a doctor’s appointment.  I have decided the buzzing I hear in one ear and then the other has to do with the haircut.
No need for a barber these days.  When there, I would wonder whose hair it was gathering in my lap.  Surely it could not be mine as it was grey, and I was too young to be grey.  Besides they had a mirror.  It enabled me to see my retreating hairline.  I didn’t need that.  It went totally against my self-image.  I was this incredibly good-looking guy.  Mirrors told a different story, so they had to be wrong.  Besides, I could have been really offended when I suggested to the barber I should pay less because I had less hair, and he said he charged search fees.
I reckon hair is like a fashion item.  I see these guys with tomahawks.  Being able to do it would probably cure my longing.  Actually, I reckon I could do it. Ok the tomahawk would be horizontal and form a semi-circle around my head.  But I could start a trend and be the first to do it.  And the last probably.  Maybe looking like a totally weird abbot is not such a good idea. 
A guy at work coloured his hair like a leopard.  I thought it looked really good.  I could do it, but it would not be the same.  It would be like two leopards with a desert between them. 
Hair is overrated anyway.  On boys anyway.  Some people are really paranoid about losing their hair and do all they can to make it look like they are not.  Not me though.  This is me.  Take it or leave it.  If my having no hair in the middle of my head is a problem to you, then it is your problem.  I am yet to face a situation where I have felt I was missing out by not having all my hair.  Please don’t think of one.