Grand Final

This is closer to 900 words rather than the 500 I generally aim for. In a word (actually two words) “I failed.”  Also, thanks to Ann, (and this is totally irrelevant to the length of this) I am scanning the document looking for words with a double meaning.  The knowns I think I can handle.  It is the unknown unknowns that may get me.  I really do not want to confuse the Americans. Actually I cannot reread what I wrote, without reading what they saw, and boy does it change the meaning (for that to make sense, you would need to see Ann’s comments (17/10/18) on the word sewer)
I played Table Tennis recently.  It was not like it was just any game, but it was the grand final. The match to decide the champion team.  I would like to say we won easily 6/0, but that would not be true.  We lost 6/4.
I have trouble with that four letter word.  Lost.  If having my mouth washed out for saying it would change things, I think I would subject myself to that, but it would change nothing.
I definitely would have preferred we won.  Please do not read anything into my gritted teeth when I say “congratulations” to the winning team.  They deserved to win, although I am glad to say we did not make it easy for them.
I told someone who was watching, that we would prefer it if we could say we won like 6/0 or 6/1.   They pointed out that would not be good for spectators.   They are right but like I care?
I played my part in our loss.  There must be a better way to put that.  I contributed to our demise.  Really I do not think that sounds much better.  There were games I lost, which I would have been expected to win, but I was not good enough on the day.  Thankfully losing was a team effort.  One of our guys has a good win loss record against someone he played.   Our player just happened to lose on the night.  Of all the nights he could lose, it was that one!  The biggest stage!!  The night of the season!!  The decider!!!  I am not bitter and twisted.  It did not affect me at all.
I have been going through my excuse box, and have found a couple that do not change the result, but make me feel better.  The lighting, flooring, humidity, table surface, umpiring, net, clothing and table height were all fine (that’s boy fine, not girl fine) so I cannot use any of them.    I have decided to go with these ones.   I found out I was playing about three hours before I played, and I had not picked up a bat in more than seven weeks.
The reason I found out so late, was a young fella was in the team I was in.  I had said I was having an operation on a certain day, and would not be available for six weeks after that.  The organizers graciously put me in a team till my operation, and then put a young fella in, to take my place.  The young fella lived on the other side of the world.  Well maybe not that far, but he lived a ways from the centre.  Despite all our best efforts, we could not organize for him to play, and my six weeks were up, so I was it.  I would have definitely preferred that he lost and not me, but it was not to be.  Actually I would have preferred that he played and the team won.
It sorta turned out to be a red letter day for me.  I was yellow carded.  I have never been yellow carded before.  It actually is not a desirable thing, as it means a person has done something bad.  What happened was, I lost a point (nothing unusual there, as I lost more than I won) but the table was closer than I realized and in bringing my bat down it made contact with the table.  The contact made a bit of a noise.  Actually it made a lot of a noise.  Everyone knew it was a mistake, and I apologised to the other player and the umpire. That did not stop me being yellow carded.  The umpire was firm and fair and ready for a bit of fun. At the point I was yellow carded, I asked for a photo opportunity with the umpire, me and the yellow card.  After all, how many people can say they were yellow carded by an Olympic umpire?
The trip home was good.  I went with our number one player and his girlfriend.  They had been to NZ for a holiday. He was telling me about the bungee jumping.  When he saw what he was confronted with, he says he did the whole Lord of the Rings thing and went from Steve the Grey to Steve the White.  Good on him I reckon, because he did it.  For his girlfriend it was a piece of cake.  She almost had to be held back.  All I can say is, there’s gotta be something wrong with that girl.  I know I have credibility, as my perspective crouching from the furthest point from an edge, gives a clear look.
I’m ok, so please do not worry about me.  What, you are not?  Well, to make me feel better, maybe be just a little bit worried.  I am working through our loss, or as Merril puts it “resolving issues.”