Giving 2

This is an extension of what I wrote the other day - on giving.
We have just celebrated Valentine’s Day and I had a thought.  Actually, I had a number of thoughts.  I think I can safely say I was thinking all day.
It occurred to me while I was getting flowers for Merril.  There were flowers arrayed at different prices.  While I was deciding which ones to get, I thought “love doesn’t count the cost.”  That probably needs qualifying as apart from not being true, it is true.
Personally I think it is always right to count the cost.  I doubt it would ever be right for me to spend $5,000 on flowers (I always have trouble spending on cut flowers whose best hope is to quickly wither and die.)  But to me some things are not about financial reward.  They are about making someone happy.  The thing is, if I make someone happy that makes me happy.  Sorta snowballs.
I was being served in a shop on Valentine’s Day and heard a guy telling the female attendant he had been married 45 years and had never spent anything on Valentine’s Day.  I feel I knew where he was coming from, but could not help feel he was the one who missed out.
To me, making someone else happy is a great reward for both of us.  I saw a clip of a family outside a building and someone stopped and gave them water.  The mum cried in gratitude.  Such a simple thing, with such a profound consequence.
It is not the size or expense of the gift that counts, but the giving.  In this case it really is the thought that counts.  I know I am happy when I know I am being thought about - when the gift is not just an afterthought, but a pleasant surprise.  I joke all the time about people saving for my birthday gift.  But it really does not matter to me.  Friends of mine gave me a couple of things that would have been inexpensive, but they meant a lot to me as they thought about it, and gave what was appropriate.
Giving grudgingly or because I feel it is necessary does not work well for me.  Giving because I want to does.
I was thinking about it a while back and imagining I really wanted to attend a seminar which I knew would potentially be life changing.  It would cost $67 to attend and I had $70.  Then I felt to not go myself, but to give away the $70.  At that point I have a choice.  I could give 7 people $10 each and none of us could attend the seminar or I could sponsor one person.  The implications are not as simple as they seem.  It looks like helping 7 people is better than helping one.  That may be the way I am to go.  But helping one could also potentially help 1,000 if the person went to the seminar. In that case I feel it is right for me to decide what is right. and to go for it, despite what appears to be obvious.
It may just be scary but that makes sense to me.  Some hold things tightly and never give and never get, while others hold things loosely and often give and always get.  If I give to get, I shouldn’t give, but if I give to give then I should give.
Giving should always cost the giver, but cost is not always only a dollar thing, but it is always a heart thing.