Follow

​Too weird.  I say it so often but the more I think about it the truer it seems.  If I have trouble understanding me what chance does anyone have?  I was listening to Phil Collins “Another Day in Paradise.”  Before that was “Kindness” by Lesley Phillips.
They went together in my mind as I was thinking about leadership and how people respond much better to a leader who shows kindness, than one who just expects loyalty without showing compassion.
I wonder how some got to where they are in the first place, but I have seen it and experienced it and many others the same.  A degree catapults a person into a position of authority.  Theory is seen as enough.  There are practicals but practical in a controlled environment is very different to that in the field.  It is so sight unseen.  They have not been there, done that, but only read about it with limited experience of it.  Knowing something does not change a person.  Doing something does.
Some demand to be followed while others earn that right.  It is a real dilemma though.  When someone in authority over me demands something, then as long as it is not against the law I am expected to obey.  If I see the problem as insurmountable, I can walk away.
Yet I do not want to do that.  I join whatever cause it is, because I believe in it and want to make a difference.  But I guess it is a bit like neighbours.  I get a home because I like it.  Often the neighbours are a lottery.  There are good ones and bad ones.  If they are too bad, I can move away, but often I do not know who I get until I am in and moving is the least preferred option.
How does that relate to the Phil Collins song? The guy in the song was embarrassed by the woman.  He walked by and pretended not to hear her.  He whistled as he crossed the street.
The song says nothing about him.  He may have been a captain of industry, and had people who answered to him and did his bidding.  At the very least he thought she messed up the neighbourhood.  She did not fit.  She was an embarrassment.  Yet for sure he was a leader.  I reckon we all are leaders in that we need to lead ourselves at the very least.
His attitude in that song was obvious.  He did not care about others.  He cared about himself.  So easy to do.  We love those who love us.  That is easy.  Loving and accepting a newbe is harder but it happens.  Loving someone who does not fit in our circle and really messes it up is way hard.  Yet I think that is the measure of who we are.
Those that genuinely care are easier to follow.  Even when I do not agree, my loyalty is built on respect.  Someone who pretends not to hear me I will follow if I have to, but not necessarily because I want to.