Flattery

I like to joke “flattery will get you everywhere.”  There is no doubt that even though a definition of flattery is “excessive and insincere praise,” at times it is the custom and if I would prefer not to lose my head it is in my best interests to do it.
Before royalty for example.  Disraeli thought it should be laid on with a trowel.  They expect it from partitioners.  Good chance their kingdom will not last forever but to get what I am after I need to follow protocol.  Mostly they are exaggerations.  I may wish it for someone, but that does not mean I expect it for someone.
They are all exaggerations except what is said of me.  I try to stay humble but my superpowers make it hard.    All the good stuff is true and only the facts have been changed.
I think the greatest threat of flattery is if I believe any good in me that is being extolled, I put down to my own good work.  To me what is being said may be true, but from one it is flattery and from another it is sincere praise.
I really think most people can tell the difference.  There are those who take all the credit for what is being said about them no matter who it comes from.  They see themselves as the bees knees.  Others graciously accept it knowing that any good in them is a gift in the first place.  It may be a gift that is developed, but a gift nevertheless.
I had a skin infection.  I knew scratching it only made it worse, but boy did scratching it feel good.  I reckon flattery is a bit like that.  Receiving it may feel good, but it can be no good for me.
To me it all comes down to a realistic self-assessment.  Generally it is a case of, “you are not telling me anything I did not already know.”  But I am not going to proclaim it.  Others can say it, and I am thankful for what is true, but who I am does not depend on something positive being stated by another in the first place.
I need encouragement.  I do not need flattery.  I actually think flattery does more harm to the sayer than the object.  The mark of flattery is insincerity.  The words may be true, but they are not designed to benefit the recipient.
I must beware believing my own publicity.  Flattery is a trap.  It is never designed to liberate me but to bind me.  Reminds me of the relationship some insects have with plants.  It all looks good, but the insect wanders down the plant taking in all that is on offer, and each step brings entrapment and brings it closer to its own death.
I appreciate receiving positive feedback.  But if I am giving positive feedback, I need to know it is born of sincerity and my motive is to state what is true for the benefit of the recipient - rather than to state it to gain some advantage.  For me it is a fine line but comes from different worlds.