Find Yourself

Hello, I am Peter and I am an addict.  My addiction is Pixar movies.  It is not that I love them all, but those I do love I have seen multiple times.  Today I watched the end of Cars 1.  I am a case at the best of times, but that movie really got me.  So did Toy Story 3.  I though it was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. There was a part in “Up” where it summarizes the hero’s relationship with his wife that critics said was the best thing ever done.  That set the bar too high for me, but it was really good.  I will never forget the dance scene in space in “Wall-E.”  I thought it was really beautiful.
There was a guy that was integral to Pixar that ironically died in a car accident during the production of Cars 1.  Until his departure they had never had a failure.    Since that time their movies have been more hit and miss.  In one sense it does not help they have been taken over by Disney.  They are really profit driven.  Hence we saw Monster University, Cars 2, and Finding Dory.  If something is a success, milk it.
I read reviews of Cars One ages ago and someone said they thought Cars was a masterpiece.  I admit I feel the same way.  There is a scene in there that really tugs at my heartstrings.  They are describing how their town became a backwater (a new highway was built that took time off the trip, but the town was bypassed and had died.)  At that point they play a song that I have always loved.  I read the words today.
The song (by Brad Paisley and called Find Yourself) really sums up what the movie is about and contains the words “When you go through life/ So sure of where you're headin'/ And you wind up lost/ And it's the best thing that could have happened/ 'Cause sometimes when you lose your way/ It's really just as well/ Because you find yourself… and (when) you finally start to live for someone else/ … then you find yourself.  A song I would sing contained the words “when you give up yourself, it’s the hardest thing you can do.”
I find it really weird.  Sometimes it seems it is my strengths that keep me from finding myself.  I am grateful for them, and always develop them, but it does not matter how good I get at something, I will meet the same end as everyone.  What I am good at, can blind me as to how destitute I really am.  It seems that so often everything needs to be stripped away, for me to see that I am not the be all and end all.  I don’t want it, and it really need not be, but sometimes it needs to happen.  I like “easy” better, but I don’t always choose “easy.”  I suppose it depends on me.
It does not seem to matter what the movie is, I tend to be looking for something.  Even pure escapism is for me often saying something.