False Start

False Starts
I just can’t do it.  From the advertising and what I hear retirement age is the golden age of doing what I like when I like.
I do enjoy being able to set my own agenda and being able to say no if I do not want to.  But I cannot do nothing.  It is me, and everyone is wired differently, but I look at my mum’s dad and my dad.  Mum’s dad died within six months of retiring as he had nothing planned after work.  Dad told me he wanted to learn the piano at about 90 and lived to 97.  He always had projects on the go.
I did have a few false starts though.  I was wondering how much for me that had to do with not knowing what I wanted from the start.  I had a mate who wanted to be a pilot from the start.  Right through his youth that was what he wanted and that was what he aimed for in all his studies.  He became a pilot.
When I was asked what I wanted to do I said either a teacher or an astronaut.  Really I had no idea.  So when I set out in a certain direction it was a case of “is that what I really want?” or “how much do I want what I think I want?”
I think my actions told the story.  There came a time I knew what I wanted, but it remained a case of  “do I want what I want enough to forgo stuff that gets in the way or is incompatible with my direction?”  That one took me a while to answer but eventually it became a resounding “yes.”
I do not care if what I hold to is the domain of the false starter.  My thinking is I would rather get something right eventually than to never get it right.  And because of that, I will always attempt to assist someone who wants it and faces something similar.
To me how a person ends matters most.  False starts may abound, heading in the wrong direction may be par for the course, yet finishing strongly at the designated finishing line gets a cheer from me every time.