Expectations

Expectation is a weird thing.  Good or bad I tend to get what I expect.  They need to be realistic and sometimes things happen beyond my wildest dreams.  The term came to the fore with people playing games.  They wanted to know what return they could reasonably expect if they played a game repeatedly. 
Years ago I knew a guy who applied this to gambling on the horses.  He started with $100.  He did it for years.  He was at $78 when I knew him.  He was very maths orientated.  It was a way to engage his hobby and work out the variables.  He never invested much but $100 was worth a lot more when I knew him.
I knew another guy who always expected the worst.  And he got it.  It was not like others sort to help him meet his expectations they just happened.  We were playing cricket one time and the rule was retire at 50.  He was retired.  A count back showed he was on 49.  It just happened.  He was sent out again to get to 50.
All that begs the question for me, “what are my expectations?”  On the whole they are definitely positive.  For sure there are times I am in the sloth of despond where things all seem too hard.  I find that maintaining positive expectations requires work.  Anything worthwhile does not come easily.  Positive expectations and ones right for me are always contested.  As they say it is always darkest before the dawn.  I find that when I am closest to meeting an expectation, I am most inclined to want to give up.
It is always at that point I determine how much I want what I am going for.  If it is a whim I will walk away.  If it is solid and right for me, I will stick it out.  Thankfully things come to an end.  I am more than a record with a scratch that repeats one thing over and over.  When that happens, I am looking for a nudge.
Records are pretty well a thing of the past these days except as a novelty item.  There really was something good about getting a new record and reading the cover.  But they were vulnerable.  They tended to warp in heat. 
I came across a lady one time who was cleaning her records.  She was washing them like I do the washing up (but in cold water).  I had never seen that and never saw it again.  If it worked then great.
However she was doing it, it was designed to prevent scratches due to grime.  The slightest bit of stuck on grime cause a needle to jump when it reached that point.  That was when one thing repeated over and over, and a nudge was needed to move it on.
That is the way I am.  My expectations are positive and cause me to move on in a direction I want.  But there are times I unexpectedly come to a point where there is grime and I need a nudge. 
I get a good clean and move on.  One thing for sure though, the area where the grime was, I remember most.  Good expectations are not without difficulties, but they sure beat the alternative.