Euro-English

I know I am a total enigma.  I found out recently that even my name gives a hint.  Peter = rock, Graeme = stern faced, Last Name = flower!  I am yet to come across a stern faced flower.
My last name was something very much longer before, and of Prussian extraction.  I like to say Prussian as it sounds so much more romantic, but it has been narrowed down to Polish.
Right or wrong, my thinking is, if I can’t change something, my choice is to either laugh or cry.  I have never seen the point of wringing my hands.  It seems to work for some, but not for me.
There have no doubt been many great articles written since, but seeing this one really made me smile.  It is a moot point now Britain is leaving the EU though.
“The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.”
There was another article I wanted to post but I could not find it.  I reckon one day it will appear.