Endurance

​(what is written is intended in no way to be a reflection of where things are at, or designed to offend.  Views proven to be incorrect can be changed.)
I’m just weird I know.  If I cannot understand me, what chance does anyone have?   But I am loved, warts and all.   I was thinking about love relationships.  In my mind there are stages.  I wondered what they might be, so I looked it up.  There are whole articles about such things.
The first I saw was had five stages of love.  I could dig that.  Then, I saw three.  I had a real problem with that one though.  The first stage was lust.  I could think of no situation where lust (an overmastering desire) was a good thing.  When someone lusts for anything, it is not something I ever desire for myself.  A strong desire is good, but the word lust always seems to have connotations that are unhealthy in the long term.
It seems to me and the research confirmed it, that many relationships built on lust are doomed.  Lust is mistaken for love.  It is a roller coaster.  Lust is often built on mystery.  Once the mystery is gone, it is not long before a new source of mystery is sought.  It is definitely not the only reason, but it is a reason.
I then saw the seven stages of love and thought that was a bit much.  Then I saw the nine stages and did not want to go there.  It was the five stages I liked and could see, though I think commitment comes in earlier than indicated.
I’ll admit I did something I think flaws a lot of research.  Many tests are done to prove what someone feels, ignoring what may be overwhelming evidence to the contrary.  Fortunately, the bulk of what I looked at, confirmed what I have felt.
I remember hearing someone say something that was really controversial at the time.  Many people thought, “that may be true for others, but it will never happen to me.”  The person suggested that in any long-term love relationship, there comes a day when what was initially seen is questioned.  The attraction is tested.  Is there commitment?
The author suggests the second stage is called “reality sets in.”  It is inevitable.  I know of no relationship that has stood the test of time, that exists without commitment.  There will hopefully always be attraction and romance, but it alone is not enough without commitment.
I had trouble with stage three called disappointment.  Until I thought about me.  No one marries a perfect partner (though marrying me is a close as a person gets of course:)).  It seems love and a willingness to grow, learn, and change is as good as it gets.  That sounds incredibly dispassionate. I know love is a deep tap root.
It gets better.  Stage four is stability.  Love is a rocky road.  There are unexpected potholes and trees down, but there is heaps of good road to travel on.  Love has to endure, but enduring is worth it.  The measure of endurance is often the measure of love.
Stage five is commitment.  I must admit my stages would be different and be six. Attraction, commitment, reality, disappointment, stability, growth.
Wherever it appears, commitment is needed in every step.  It is easier when there is attraction and stability, and an endurance when reality sets in or disappointments reign.
We are in this together.  Love is a deep issue, but it is guaranteed not to last without commitment from both.