Embarrassed

James Clear asks a question.  I know it is good from me, but it’s kinda embarrassing. “What insights can I extract from my embarrassment?”  I know I would prefer to make out I cannot relate.  It never happens.  Yet to say that would be an outright lie.  It actually happens more than I would like.
I can picture the moment I discover what I am saying is outright wrong.  Generally, I have been adamant I have been right.  Then I make a gruesome discovery.  Mostly in front of a number of people.
Compassion rolls over some.  I told you so over others.  For some I am simply meeting their expectations.  For some, it just makes them feel good because they wanted me to fall so they could be seen to be better. 
But that does not matter to me really.  I am not responsible for their response.  I am responsible for mine.  It is too easy to be in denial.  To claim I am right despite all evidence to the contrary.
For me the situation needs to be gotten past.  The only way to grow as a person is to admit mistakes, no matter how painful, and learn from them and move on.  The truth of the matter is I make mistakes.  What I did like about my work situation is the boss recognised they would be made, and was tolerant.  A recognised problem existed if I kept on making the same mistake.
It is one of the reasons I have a real problem with algorithms being used to make decisions.  Everyone is capable of errors.  Algorithms may determine I am unworthy.  Humanity recognizes I may have blown it, but I am not defined by it.  I am giving it my best shot.  It may be obvious I blew it, but it was something that happened while I was pursuing something more.  Maybe I would have preferred not to blow it (actually definitely), but my action was a part of the whole - not the whole itself.
While I have been considering this I have been encouraged.  To make a mistake I need to be doing something.  As they say, “someone who never made a mistake never made anything.”  I agree with that based on my experience.  So often criticism is the domain of the spectator.
I have incredible admiration for those giving it a go.  I guess there is a certain amount of tolerance to.  I know I can be tricked, and sometimes bitter lessons are learned, but I do like to look on what I think is the heart of a person to gain insight into the actions of a person.
I know for me often there is a willingness, and the methodology needs improvement.  Things may embarrass me, but I sure can live with that when I know I or someone owns their actions rather than denying them.
Grace gets extended to me on a regular basis.  I like to extend grace to another.   What happens may be a steppingstone rather than a stumbling block.  So much is a learning curve.  To learn I need to be doing.  Mistakes happen.  They embarrass.  But the present so quickly becomes the past.  When I learn from something the embarrassment often is a step to better.