Dream On

I say regularly how important it is for us to be there for each other.  I know it and stand by it.
But I do acknowledge that there are times no matter who I seek out help from, it is not forthcoming.  I need to stand seemingly alone.
It is funny but I find that is the measure of my strength.  Sometimes I don’t feel inclined to do what I know is the best thing for me to do.  All the feelings I have are contrary to what I truly maintain.  I would like the solace of another’s voice.  The comfort that comes from encouragement.
Many times others are not to blame.  They often have legitimate activities to attend to and sometimes they don’t.  Whatever the reason others are unavailable.  Their heart is with me and want the best for me, but it seems circumstances conspire to cause them to be unavailable.  I do think that that can work for good for me.  To me there is no greater test of character than to go on when feelings desert me.
 So often my dream is born in times of excitement with a real feeling of “I can do this.”  The true test to me is “do I really want to do this?” when my feelings tell me it is a pipe dream and it would be so much easier to maintain the status quo.
That to me is the test of a dream.  Inventors fail often before they succeed.  If they had given up at failure – perhaps thinking they would never find what they think is there, then the world would be the poorer for it.  Or perhaps someone else would have discovered what they could have with persistence and endurance.
There is no doubt such times are difficult, and I only want them to end.  Yet every time I am the richer for the wilderness.  At the time of traversing a wilderness I see only rocks and sand and desert.  I get thirsty.  The familiar takes on an alure.  Perhaps the hardness or emptiness of a past position is forgotten and only the brief reprieves of contentment are thought about.  Often the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that on the other side of the wilderness is a pleasant place I (and perhaps no one) have never visited.
So for me the support of others is welcome but not my motivation but holding to what I accept - both in the daylight and the night.  I may feel alone, but I am not and help to reach my destination is on the way.