Different View

​Something sorta hit me recently and it opened my eyes to various things.
It occurred to me that I have a group of friends that are seeing me in a way I had never seen myself before.  It was there, but now it is more front and centre.  But what got my attention was the fact I want to be that way.  I want to do all I can not only to live like that, but to learn more about it, with the possibility of becoming more like that.
I have seen what it can do to me, and it showed me that the way I see another can be really powerful.  To me, it is all about bringing out the best in another.  I am not for making out there are attributes in another that are not there.  But I reckon what good there is deserves my attention.
Sometimes positive elements in another need to be highlighted.  I, along will all, are put down big time.  Often I do not need reminding of my failings as I am well aware of them myself.  If, on the other hand, something positive about me is highlighted I spark up.  I want to be that way more.
So much it seems is about replacement.  I may be full of yuk with only a tiny bit of not yuk.  Yet when the good stuff is highlighted and drawn out, I tend to replace the yuk with more of the good stuff.  It is a gradual thing, but one day looking back I think, “I used to be that way, and now I am this way.”
It is not a magic formula.  It is a steady as she goes thing.  Often though, the catalyst was the way another saw me.  We all need someone to believe in us.  When that happens, before I know it, there are others that believe in me to, and I am on a roll.
What that highlights though is the importance of little ol me.   I can choose the influence I have.  I can destroy and pull down and contribute big time to the tall poppy syndrome, or I can encourage and try to bring out the best in another,
It is so easy to pull down another.  To give my mind over to finding fault.  I do not need to look too hard.  Everyone has them.  Finding fault is like the default position.  I guess that is why I like the saying “someone who will talk to you about someone else, will normally talk to someone else about you.”  There is generally enough for a couple of cups of coffee and a few biscuits each session.
Thing is though, I contribute to the way another is.  I can maintain the status quo and pull down because everyone does, or I can break the cycle.
For sure at first it can be hard.  Negatives can outweigh the positives big time.  Yet when I am willing to highlight the positives an amazing thing can happen.  More can appear.