Dementia

​I saw someone I know today in a shopping centre.  He does not live far from me.  These days he plays harmonica in a band.  He was the one who first indicated the different types of harmonica there are.  Today he told me he plays both ones that have a full scale and those with individual keys only.
It was when I asked him about his wife, I really felt sad for him.  I knew his wife was now in a nursing home.  She had been beaten up there though by a staff member twice.  The guy I know is an honest sort of fellow, and if she had initiated the treatment he would have told me.  People with her condition can be violent.  But it appears that was not the case in this case.
Anyway, this time when the guy was talking he used his hands more than once and indicated she was lying flat and in a bed most of the time.  He said it was sad.  She hardly recognised him.
It made me think how disconcerting it must be for people to lose their memories.  Often memories are a place of refuge.  Shared memories are one of the things that bind families together.
It is very different from the occasional memory loss that results from older age.  Merril and I laugh at the times we walk into a room and then report we need to retrace our steps to know why we were there in the first place.
Dementia robs.  It robs and kills the sufferer and robs those known to the victim and become no longer known to the victim.  In 2016 it became the leading cause of deaths in Australian women surpassing heart disease which had held the title for decades.  Over 250 people a day in Australia join the ranks of those with dementia.
My mate must feel very alone.  There is no doubt that crowds and common interests can keep the loneliness at bay.  But there comes a time when the crowds have left, and a person is alone.  It must be particularly lonely to know the one you have been closest to, is still there, but has no memory of the closeness.  Seeing the lingering loss before your eyes, and what was shared become an individual thing only, would be hard to take.
I want to see more of this fellow.  He is over 70 years of age and still runs.  He is a fit fellow.  He says the running helps to keep the depression and negativity at bay.
As are we all, he is getting on.  His church is in Redcliffe.  I know that sooner rather than later walking to our church will be what he would like to do.  We can never be what his wife was to him, but he will know we care, and he is amongst friends.