Compromise

It is like it is a dirty word.  Compromise.
It is if it means forfeiting my values or what is rightfully mine for some short-term gain.  It is one of the reasons I need to be careful of my appetites.  There may be something I want, and want now, that blinds me to forfeit what I can rightfully expect, with a bit of patience.
Storms always pass.  What looms large always assumes its rightful size again.  But when faced with it, I sometimes do not see the wood for the trees.  It can feel like never again will I know the expectation of something that is to be mine.
Having patience though is definitely easier to say than to do.  It is one of the many reasons I need help.  But it is definitely worth it.  I have never known a time it was not.
But to me there is another form of compromise I think is totally necessary.  It is compromise in negotiations.  There may be core items that are not negotiable, but often there are others where it does not really matter if they are gotten or not.  They are wanted, but they are not needed.
It may appear to be wishful thinking, but I have always found in negotiations between two parties there needs to be two winners.  Even when one party holds all the aces and they can crush another, I reckon it helps to give the “losing” party something so they can feel like a winner.
I just know how I feel when totally crushed.  It is not a nice feeling.  It makes me not want to negotiate with the other ever again.  I guess that has to do with my bent.   I like to see things from another’s perspective.  Walk in their shoes for a bit if I can.
With one organization, we had a philosophy of making the other look good to get what we wanted.  We decided that giving them what they wanted to get what we wanted was a small price to pay.
To me it is asking for trouble to treat another stronger power as the enemy when they can easily thwart my desires.  I always have a choice.  I can treat someone as an enemy or a friend.  Real enemies I treat as such, but treat all as a friend until I know different.  I am guaranteed not to get what I am after if I treat someone as an enemy when they are only that in my mind.
There is one place I go to buy larger items and I always ask, “is that your best price?”  I have never failed that I get the item cheaper.  To me that is a win/win.  They won as they got a sale and I won as I got what I was after at a better price than being asked.  Often, I do not get because I do not ask.  They compromise because they make the item cheaper, and I compromise by accepting the sale and not going elsewhere.
For me that is a very simple form of negotiation, but my experience is that most complicated things are built on the most simple premises.  Things can get very messy but when all is stripped away, often what is being asked is not complicated, and with a bit of compromise everyone experiences a degree of happiness.
Some things matter and some don’t.  I will never compromise on what matters but often what I think matters, does not.