Committment

​Commitment
Crows definitely are not people’s favourite bird.  I guess no matter what the sort of bird, there are things they do that apply to the way I go about things (not like, flying off into branches, but other stuff).
We have a couple that seem to consider this home.  They fly elsewhere to sleep but spend most of the day around here.  We have been watching them a couple of seasons now.  Around this time, they bring a baby.
The noise the baby makes when it wants food is an acquired taste and I still would prefer it did not make it.  It does something I find fascinating.  When mum or dad are there, and it wants food, it squeaks adem nauseum and mum or dad feed him via their mouths.  Then when they are not there it happily walks around the yard and feeds itself.  Best of both worlds it seems.
It is mum or dad’s role I find fascinating.  It seems feeding baby is just something they do.  It does not matter if it is raining or really blowy.  Rain, hail or shine they feed the baby.  It is never a case of “I don’t feel like it today, so I won’t.”  They are committed to the baby. 
That commitment lasts until the baby can fend for themselves and make its own way in the world.  Then it is like “next!”  We have what we think is the previous baby coming here.  The parents chase it away.  They are focused on this one.  The past is the past.  It matters not if things went well or not, they have fulfilled their roll and moved on.
I sorta notice that sort of thing with me.  Some things I’m real committed to.  I know that with work, although it was a choice, it was an easy one.  It was a commitment for 40 years or so but one I willingly made as it not only enabled me to use my training, but opened the door for so much socially.  I guess I am a people person.  As far as I am concerned, it is all about people and the actual job is a means to an end.  I was fortunate in that I really enjoyed the culture where I worked.
It is sort of weird though.  I find some big commitments easy, yet given free time my commitment for doing the best thing by me is more lacking.  I am way more likely to goof off at that time than for work or family. 
It is the way I am, but that does not mean I like it.   I would prefer that my commitment extended as strongly to my personal life.  It is stupid to compare myself, but it seems I am better than some and not as good as others.  There are those that, come what may, they are not distracted from their dream.  It seems everything serves to make them stronger and more determined.  I admire them, but I am not one of them.
Win some.  Loss some.  That’s me.  The only constant is the trajectory.  It is on the up.  I saw a cartoon where someone said if I learn from my mistakes shouldn’t I make as many as possible?  I do it without trying.  If failure and falling short is what you are after, then I’m your man.  I have known both success and failure.  But I am trying.  Some might even say I am very trying.