Committment

It seems to me that commitment can be a strange animal.
I did a Cert. 3 in Project Management.  I thought I was committed, until the going got tough.  I wanted to give it away, but someone encouraged me to keep going.  I did a big push and passed.
It seems commitment can have different levels.  When a boss gives me a task, I am committed to doing it.  That really is a self-interest thing.  I am committed to a lot of things long term - my yard, my home, my marriage, my faith and a myriad of other things.
Short term commitments I find easy.  Long term ones generally need working at.  Still, no matter if it is short or long term, it seem to me, it is better to abandon it, if it is wrong.  It is better for everyone.  There are few things worse to me than the wrong person in the wrong job.  It is not fair on anyone, including the person themselves.  Often they are willing to commit.  But being willing does not make it right.
Sometimes though, my commitment can be conditional.  I have found that, if I am obliged to be somewhere or do something, I will be there and do it.  If I am not there, it is normally a matter beyond my control that keeps me from it.
There is the saying that “when all this is over I am going to have a nervous breakdown.”  The person is totally committed until the pressure is off.  I have seen this first hand.  It was unfortunate that the person I knew that was going to hospital, chose the day an 18 foot snake swallowed one of our cats.  It was in the days that the ambulance came and took the snake away.  This one was so large it was displayed at Taronga Park Zoo.
It seems to me, committed is what I am either before there are any expectations on me, or when there are no expectations on me.  If I use that time to behave in a manner contrary to my commitment, am I really committed?  This is not to say I don’t need “me” time.  I do.  But if I use that time in a way that conflicts with what I am committed to, then I need to question myself.  For example, I might be an elite athlete, but if I use down time to act in a manner opposed to my aims, then I must question if I am committed.  It is easy to be committed when I feel like it.  When I don’t feel like it, is another matter though.
It seems in this day and age the biggest commitment is to “me”.  I get it.  I am fond of saying that, when dealing with institutions, I need to look out for me as no one else is.  However I doubt that commitment ever means standing on someone else, or wilfully neglecting them, when I know it is my responsibility to do something.
Commitment to me, really is a double edged sword.   There is the very public side where I do what I am committed to do, then there is the other side where I can do what I want to do.  What do I want to do, is the question I ask myself.