Come and Go

Someone said something I found really interesting yesterday.
“I need to be careful what I say because I’m listening.”  That to me was a new spin on stuff I’ve heard.   All about the importance of what I say.  Even in the hard times when I am not feeling much beyond grief or anger or disappointment.
I am big on realism.  I will not deny my feelings but my feeling are passing and do not represent me.  Feelings come and go but belief remains.  To me it matters big time that I do not declare like it is a closed book my feelings alone.
The thing about feelings is that sometimes I am joyful and sometimes I am sad or some other emotion.  For my whole life they have oscillated.  If I were to live my life based on feelings alone, I would go from one extreme to the other.  I do not deny them and some I go with and some I battle against.
What matter to me is who I am.  That is constant.  It is based on something beyond my invention or feelings at a particular time.  It is that that I declare despite how I feel.  That to me is reality.  In private moments I express my feelings.  But I know there is light beyond the storm.  My feelings may be a valid expression of my human nature, or they may be something sinister that will destroy me if I let them take hold.
Whatever the case I will not declare as permanent something impermanent.  I will state what is lasting, what is beyond the ups and downs of my emotions.
The thing is (and I am hearing this a lot lately) declarations can change for the better.  Some may say it is a form of brain washing but sometimes my brain could do with a good wash.
It is important to me that I look beyond my feelings.  Someone (and I do not remember who) said to me “never make a decision when you are down.”  That has proven to be great advice.
So often when I am down, I make decisions that undo a lot of good work.  To me it is better to declare what is real and ride it out rather than act in haste.
I honestly think growth is based on weathering the good times and bad.  I want to grow as a person.  I have found the sun is not always shining where I am.  But that does not mean the sun is not shining.