Closed

Being closed may be safe, but it is sad.  If I am like that, I am the poorer for it.
I could be in a steel room with no windows and the door bolted tight.  Nothing could get in.  Nothing could hurt me.  My isolation could be my protection.  Unbeknown to me though, there could be a beautiful world outside my door.  I would never know it.  The only way I could guarantee my security, is by remaining isolated.
The moment I open the door I am vulnerable.  It may be beautiful, but there are things out there that could hurt me.  Perhaps a spider wanders in.  Or a snake slithers in.  Besides things that can hurt, there can be messy things.   The wind could blow a pile of leaves in.
I have chosen to live in Australia.  It is home to heaps of the world’s deadliest snakes.  There are crocodiles.  I used to take a tyre tube down a river.  I would never do it now.  There are crocodile signs everywhere.   Off setting that though the fishing is now great.
This country is potentially dangerous, but would I want to live anywhere else?  Nope. I love this country.  It has so much going for it.  There is beauty everywhere.  To traverse it may expose my vulnerability, but it is worth it.  If I shut this world out, I am the one who misses out.
It seems so many movies portray the tough guy (i.e. early Clint Eastwood movies) “Go ahead, make my day.”  Hero’s are made of Teflon.  Nothing can touch them.  It is great for escapism, but I do not want to be them.
Gibbs in NCIS says never apologise.  Yet “I’m sorry” or “Forgive me” or “I was wrong” can be the most powerful words in the world.  When received a certain way they can break down walls.  They can build bridges.  They can create a common point.  At the very least they can defuse.  When I was new to Brisbane, I cut another driver off.  I was in the wrong.  He waited up further for me, and aggressively asked me a question.  I acknowledged my error to him.  He drove off in a huff.  Fortunately, what could have escalated, subsided.  I was wrong.  At that time it was right to acknowledge it.  At other times it is right to say nothing until I see my lawyer.
I want to be someone who has my doors and windows open.  There is no doubt that exposes me to being hurt, but to me it is worth it.  I can take in so much beauty.  I can meet other people whose doors and windows are open too.  Each of us are taking a chance, but it is a chance worth taking.