Change

Change is inevitable – except from a vending machine.
This morning I was doing what I do.  My routine is to stagger to the kettle.  The first thing I do is make a coffee.  I did so admire someone I knew.  They were like 90 something.  They would get up incredibly early and pray.  Not before they made a coffee though.  I did really like that. 
Some it seems are so spiritual they float from room to room.  I’m not one of them.  I reckon I have destroyed so many boxes as I don’t fit neatly into any.  I have always felt to just do what works for me.  If a coffee is required to start the day, then I have it.  To me it is better to do what is needed, then to do nothing.
I remember thinking how all was right with the world.  At the turn of the century Russia was playing nice, China was opening up and a peace for most had reigned for a couple of generations.  Then the Twin Towers came down, and the dictators of Russia and China were not so benign.
Now bizarre and horrible things happen.  I get up each morning wondering what new rude shock awaits.  This virus was an unexpected and unwelcome change.   People close to me  need to be considered in a new light.
I think whoever said change is the one constant was right.  I know that so often I am just cruising and doing what I do, and a phone call comes and everything changes.  I do know the phone call is not the Lotto Office, as I have not put anything in.  Normally the phone call tells me something I do not want to hear.
Merril got a really bad splinter and we had to visit doctors to fix it.  My stiches came apart and the doctor needed to fix it.  Neither things were on my to do list.  They were unexpected.  They were changes that needed to be dealt with.
It seems to me all change is an opportunity to grow.  Not all change is something I would pick.  But no matter if I see it as good or bad, it can be for good.  I guess that is my choice.  Bad does not have to be wasted.  Getting a stroke from dealing with a tumour I had is bad.  It is not something I would wish for myself or for anyone.  But I know good has come from it.  It is not how I would choose to do it, but it happened.  Not all change makes me happy, but all change can make me stronger.
It seems to me I do all I deem necessary, but I can only deal with the hand I am dealt.  When I play Scrabble sometimes my hand is abysmal.  I do my best with what I have.
The thing for me is, I do need a constant.  Like an anchor.  Change will happen. The best-case scenario says I will grow old.  As someone said, “I am at that delusional age where everyone my age looks older than me.”
Change happens to everyone I know.  I know I need to be satisfied where I am heading.  It is the best way I can deal with a lot of change.