Castor Oil

I was thinking today about “everywhere I go I take me with me.”  I know I need to be careful with that one.  So often I hear it said, “I was hoping it would be different”, or “when this is over I can be happy.”
One of my fun sayings is, “when the going gets tough, the tough get going – fly British Airways.”  I need to be careful I do not dream of a seachange or a treechange expecting that is what I need to fix the problem that is me.
For sure things for a while are novel and different, but I find there always comes a time when I realize that the fella that is me is still there and still needs to deal with things and move on.  The good thing about dealing with things is that it is positive.  It is like getting rid of excess weight.  It frees up.
There are times for sure when a change has been the best thing for me.  When I left Townsville it was time for a change.  I could have definitely grown as a person there, but I grew much quicker here.  It was needed and it was right.  I was not running away, I was running to.
One thing I have found is that a change in location does not change me.  All that changes is the location.  The scenery.  To me it is one of the reasons why it is so important to get to the real reason for something.
Merril and I are watching a show at the moment called “Doctor Detectives” or something like that.  In it a panel of experts are presented with cases that have failed to be diagnosed.  Sometimes it has been years without diagnosis.  What is universal is the relief people feel when something is finally diagnosed.  It is the not knowing on top of the problem itself that causes excess anxiety.
I find that knowing the cause of something is always a relief.  I feel once I know I can take the right steps to deal with something.  Until then I am taking stabs in the dark.  Hoping something works but so often being disappointed. (Everyone who ate oats in 1846 died.  But perhaps eating oats is not the real reason they died.  Perhaps it was mortality)
I have mentioned before how I had a rash that defied treatment and I ended up in hospital.  A specialist diagnosed the problem and recommended a course of action, and the problem went away.  I honestly think it would have killed me had of not the correct diagnosis been given.
So often problems in my head are seen as somehow different.  Yet in many ways for me the process has been similar.  Be honest with myself, diagnose the real reason for the problem and take the appropriate treatment.
The real me may not be pretty, and treatment can seem even worse (like castor oil) but if something works, and I am the better person for it, I will go with it every time.