Carers

I see it regularly in shopping centres.  Carers.  A person is elderly or infirmed, and a person with them watches them and does things for them.  In some cases, they could do it, but it may kill them.  To do so is counter-productive really.
Merril does a bit of caring.  I drive, but it is only ever short distances.  Merril tends to do the driving.  I am a worse passenger than I have ever been.  The vast majority of time I am ok.  Sometimes though edges seem really close.  I squirm, and there is no need to.  I tend to shut my eyes at that point and want it to be over.  Thankfully though, most of the time I am ok.
I have learned a few things along the way.  I was a passenger with a table tennis player in a car park and I saw a car coming as he backed out.  I thought “it is not my place to tell him how to drive.” Bang.  Straight into the car.  It was a Porsche I think.  A couple of yuppies hopped out.  It was all sorted amicably.
Carers I have met have been good. It is immediately obvious if someone is in the position because “it is a job.”  It seems real empathy is needed.  People have empathy even if they are not a carer, but empathy is needed to be a carer.
What strikes me about carers is they tend to not live for themselves.  Many are paid to do it, but I think that is different to someone who does it with no expectation of reward.  There are probably more of those than we know of.  The elderly and infirmed tend to need someone else.  It is not trumpeted, but lots of folk get old and need assistance.  It is great there are those who just care.
It seems for non-paid cares it always costs.  It can cost everything when someone needs care 24/7.  It will not cost a personality, but at the very least it always involves at least time and effort.
For some it is a matter of getting off their high horse and getting down and dirty.  I remember hearing of one couple that had a dad with them.  He would eat at their table and invariably make a mess.  Their solution was to put him at a table on his own.  An incredibly insightful comment from their little boy saw him back at the main table.  We just cannot guarantee what we will be like.  Some cruise and making a mess is never a problem.  For others, they don’t mean it, it just happens.  It is a product of their station in life.  For many it is more embarrassing for them then their carers.
There is a good chance I will be old one day (notice in this instance I am not calling myself old now).  How I have treated others may come back to bite me.  Everyone has dignity.  I aspire to be the best I can.  Sometimes I fall short.  Sometimes things happen despite my best efforts.  At that point I am a person first and a failure second.  Like everyone, I want to be treated well in old age.