Cans

​I am so over cans.  Not the cans that have a pull top and are easy to open, but the ones that require a tin opener to open.  I would think opening a can should be simple.  For both Merril and I it always has been.  Not anymore.
We first realized we had a problem a few weeks ago.  A can needed to be open.  “I’ll do that.” I said confidently.  That was until my question that immediately followed, “Ummm, how does this thing go on the can?”  I was used to the old-fashioned ones where I would dig in and pump around the circle until wella!  All done, next! Or the ones where the can is pierced and a winding motion of the handle rendered the can opened.  Didn’t have either.
What we did have was a new fangled one.  It had to be placed the right way on the can and again a winding of the handle should open the can.  I say should.  It didn’t.  What it did do was pierce the can which meant the contents would perish if the can was not opened.  I tried it in a different spot and again it pierced the can but failed to continuously pierce it.  All it did was lower the top so I could see where I had tried to open the can and failed.  A constant reminder.  Merril had a go.  Didn’t work.
I examined the can and the opener.  I do not like to admit defeat, but this one had me stumped.  I widened where I had pieced the can.  I tried again unsuccessfully.  The can went into the fridge and was on our “we will get around to it” list.  What we did know was we needed a can opener that worked.  Personally, I would hate to go for want of a can opener.
I got one from someone I visit regularly who had two.  I also bought a brand new you beaut one.  Another time arrived.  Visitors were coming.  We needed to open a can.  I used the one from the person I visit.  Wouldn’t work.  That sent us rummaging through the draw for the new one.  We found it.  Great.  Problem solved.  I pierced the can and did not even get to turn the handle a full circle and it broke.  In unbelief I brought it towards me and it fell apart.  I reckon it was mocking me.
There was only one solution.  It used to be people borrowed a cup of sugar from neighbours.  I walked across the road and asked if I could borrow a can opener.  The guy suggested using a grinder might be overkill.  It had not occurred to me, but I was ready to try anything really.  Being undone by a can is not a good look.  They had an opener we could borrow.  This time the problem was genuinely solved.
Personally, I think we are both scared.  I was just on the phone to Merril where she volunteers.  She had been asked to open a can.  She said to me I hope I can do it.  I rang her again later and she had given the task to the boss as it had not worked for her.  We had been on the phone a while and she informed me she could hear the boss trying to open the can.
What is it with cans?  Why is it that something so simple as opening a can has become like world war three for us?