Balance

To me, a key to heaps is balance.  I am for a lot of things, but it is when they are skewed I have a problem.  I knew someone who enjoyed a drink with his mates, but said “someone always takes it too far.”
As a number know we have a new washing machine and it has got me thinking (I know, I need to get a life.)  But with washing machines, if the load is balanced, the machine performs as it should.  When the load is unbalanced, the life of the machine is shortened, and basically it does not perform as expected.
I think the same goes for our emotions.  All are valid, and are expressed at different times, but if we are out of balance, then it is possible to over emphasis something.  I looked up emotions and there are a multitude of them.  From just e – part of l there is, Ecstasy, Embarrassment, Empathy, Enthusiasm, Envy, Euphoria, Fear, Frustration, Gratitude, Grief, Guilt, Happiness, Hatred, Hope, Horror, Hostility, Humiliation, Interest, Jealousy, Joy, Loneliness, and Love.
We have perhaps known an angry man.  Anger is valid, but if it over-rides all else it seems to me to be a problem.  I think it is the same for anxiety.  Anxiety can be used to correct a situation.  But anxiety dominating is not healthy.  We know more than one person who expects the worst in every situation.  The amazing thing is they tend to get it.  It seems what we look for, we often get.
These days, it seems “happiness” is sought out and held up as something to aspire to.  Personally, I think what we aspire to has to go deeper than our emotions.  To me happiness is valid, as long as it is seen as one of the emotions.  There are times when to be happy is not valid.  It may be that anger is more appropriate.  Or sadness at a friend’s departure.  As someone said to me recently “horses for courses.”  I reckon that is right.  Different situations demand different responses.
I see our emotions as a surface thing.  It is what the emotions are built on that matters to me.  An angry person tends to be just that.  Anger is their response when it is appropriate, and when it is not.  To me, it is because the life is built on anger.  There can be many reasons for that, but often it is a defence mechanism picked up in youth, as a way to cope. The same goes for anxiety.  The thing is, so often I do not even see it, much less acknowledge it.  To me, nothing can change if I do not see it in the first place.
This is where openness plays a big part to me.  Some folk don’t see something and will never see it, without some sort of intervention.  Someone said to me “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”  Perhaps because now I am considered an old dog, I thought that was a bit harsh.  Sure old dogs take longer to learn, and are by nature slower, but it does not mean they are beyond learning (humans that is, don’t know enough about dogs).  It is certainly easier to teach a young dog new tricks, and they can learn more, but if I am anything to go by, an old dog can still learn new tricks.
To me, many emotions are valid and appropriate, but I want my life to be built on something more than emotions, and the expression of my emotions to be balanced.