Attire

​Woa.  That has never happened before, and if I have my way it will never happen again.  Though I must admit optimism is lacking and today must be the day for it.  I was in a hurry and tried my key on the car in a carpark.  It would not work so I thought I would press the auto-unlock.  I did that and lights flashed on another car.  That one was mine.
I’m wearing track suit pants.  I discovered they were on back to front.  I made the awful discovery when I went to put a handkerchief in my pocket.  For some reason the handkerchief needed to go in the opposite direction.  I was not expecting that.
I’ve had it happen before with shirts.  Tee shirts and the like can sort of look similar back and front (that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it).  It is always a bit embarrassing to have someone say, “that shirts on back to front.”  When I establish that they are right, it is fairly easy to whip it off and put it the right way around.  Pants are a different story though.  It is not so easy to whip them off and put them around the right way around.  Well it is easy, but not as socially acceptable.
I’m just glad I made the discovery at home.  I was able to make the correction with no one being the wiser.  Though my handkerchief is now in my right-hand pocket and I distinctly remember putting it in my left.
I was probably too busy making sure I was colour coordinated.    My socks match my shirt and the pants are black which is a neutral colour that does not clash.  The other day I knew my undies matched my shirt but that was not a general knowledge thing.
Colour coordination does not seem to matter so much to us Neanderthals.  Stepping outside is always to go into battle and the only thing I make sure I have is my club.  Ok I may only be going out to check the mail, but the mail is outside.
Thank goodness for women.  They tend to make sure guys look right before they go into battle.  I thought one girl went too far when she made sure my socks were folded down.  I mean, such a thing could get me killed in battle if I suddenly realized my socks were not right and looked down.
I may be a Neanderthal, but it is always better to look right being one.  Checking the mail is not as straight forward as it seems.  I gotta get the walk right.  Sort of a swagger with a “don’t mess with me” look.  If I don’t look right, it is more of a race between trees to hide behind, thing.
I think I am good to go now though.  I have checked my attire and I think all is as it should be.  Of course, someone saying “that shirt is on back to front” could change that in a moment.
Now to walk to the car.  Gotta make sure I do it right.