Apologise

It is incredible to me how difficult it can be to say a couple of words.  Those words are “I’m sorry.”  There was one leader who would not even say them, because of the supposed legal ramifications.
It seems some would have us believe they are incapable of a mistake, while others seem to apologise for their existence.  They will apologise even when none is needed or expected.  Both are extreme, but in my experience there are times I need to apologise.  It can be like eating sand, but it has to be done, and to not do it involves continued cover up, and adversely effects relationships.
I just saw the national apology for the abuse of children.  It seems to me an apology was needed.  It was horrendous.  Cover ups occurred by those in power and a position of trust.  People’s lives were changed for the worse.
I think of three cases (among many) that come readily to mind, when I have needed to apologise.  The thing I have found with apologising is that it does not always go to plan.  In my mind the outcome of apologising is reconciliation.  There are times though, it does me more good, than the one I am apologising too.  It changes me.  
I cannot control the actions of others, but I am accountable for my actions.  If there is something I have got to do, then it is something I have to do.  In a sense it is not about the other person, it is about me (this is one of those times where it really is about me).
The best case scenario is bridges are mended, and we both move on.  However this is my hope only, and it is not why I apologise.  I apologise because I need to.  Even if I don’t like it, I am part of the human race, and I make mistakes. 
I always wondered why horses were put down so quickly when they broke their leg.  There are reasons, and they are humane.  Thankfully for me, a break, when mended properly, becomes a strong point.  Apologising is like mending a break.  It can be painful and not easy, but the end result is positive.
I have found that the longer I don’t do what I know I need to do, the harder it is.  What may have started out small becomes an edifice, which can be really hard to move.  In the worst case, I can justify my actions, and find reasons not to apologise.  This does not mean that I do not need to, it just aims to make me feel better about not doing it.  Growth as a person to me though, means getting it right, if I don’t want to end up deformed.
For me it is a toughy.  I want people to think that I am perfect, but I know I am not, and I give the fact away too often.