A Glass Darkly

I have been thinking recently about how unclearly I see things.
Sure I can think I know.  As I believe, I should act.  Occasionally though, things are not as they seem.  I have been in a situation where I thought I knew, only to find out it was not what I thought.  Ok I am naïve, and not wise in many things, but this one was totally out of left field.  As they say, live and learn, and even at this stage if I learn something, I think it is good.
All I can do is my best.  That does not mean I am always at my best.  At times I am not.  That does not mean I do not want the best.  Sometimes the harder I try the more I fail.  At that stage I have found it best to just let go.  It is incredible to me, that often when I relinquish control, things turn out the way I wanted them to.
I honestly try to look at people’s aspirations rather than actions.  Sometimes people do very anti-social things.  To me it does not mean they do not aspire to better things.  For many reasons, they may be different to what we consider the social norm.  I think my job is only to love and accept – because if things were different, that could have been me.  It seems even the best have undesirable traits.
It is amazing how often I rail against something I do myself.  I think it is true, that we dislike in others, what tends to be most prevalent in ourselves.   
I remember someone who had a very public job, saying that if circumstances were different, they would be in their room with the doors shut and bolted.  However their role demanded that most of the time, that was not the case. 
Sometimes my best is not good enough.  It is then I really need the help of others.  If it is not available and I fail, and if it is out of my hands, I cannot worry about it.  It really does not do me any good.
I have been reading recently about Chuck Yeager, who was the one who first broke the sound barrier.  He stood out amongst test pilots who where a gun ho lot.   A friend of his wanted a tree cut down, so Chuck used the wing of his plane to cut off the top of it.  He had to explain to the planes mechanic why there was so much wood in the wing.  I have never read about, or heard of, anyone like him.
I can only do my best.  I am not someone else.  I am me, warts and all.  I may not see things as clearly as I would like, but I can act as I see things.  I believe that one day there will be clarity, but today is not that day.  To me, it is like the waters are muddied.  I see impressions and outlines, but really only know in part.  Knowing is for another day.